A few weeks ago I had some blood tests run. I've been feeling so worn out lately and there is a family history of thyroid problems, so my doctor and I decide to test for that and some possible vitamin deficiencies just in case.
"Trouble" is, everything came back perfectly normal.
It has to be stress.
And here's my theory: I am almost entirely certain that my children have plotted against me. They've managed to have a pow-wow and all agreed. If possible, gang up on her, but otherwise make it a top priority that one shall induce unrelenting stress upon her AT ALL WAKING MOMENTS. Refuse to get dressed. Scream about your dinner. Say no to the shower and all other requests for hygiene. Call her names. Strip at inopportune times. Tell her it's her fault. Spill the milk. Whine. Do not pick up. When asked to pick up, make excuses. Make every possible request, even when eventually fulfilled (so as to avoid losing Game Boy time or a similarly horrifying discipline), take as long as humanly possible. Have a tantrum when you don't get what you want. Find a way to complain about it when you do. Ask her to do something for you only after she sits down. Then, and ONLY then, ask nicely so she feels guilty if she doesn't comply. Confuse her when making requests so as to reduce the chance of her managing the request properly. Spit. Talk simultaneously and VERY loudly. Lose your lovey just before bedtime. Lie. Throw things. Draw on everything except paper. Stick your half eaten lollipop to the couch pillows. Fight about who gets to pray at dinner. When all else fails, cry.
I know this all looks suspiciously like three cases of small children; but I know my kids. They're too smart to succumb to these normal childhood issues. Some would call it childishness, but I call it