Today, after I got Cal on the bus, I managed to sneak in 20 minutes on the elliptical, interrupted after 10 by Ellerie asking me if she could ride it and repeating said request, while I was trying to read, for most of the next 10 minutes. I tried to shower, half shaved my legs and Elle was in the bathroom. Chatting away, she randomly interjects, "oh and Tate crying. He hurt his-self on the door." ACK! Is he bleeding? No. Well tell him I am coming after I rinse off the soap and conditioner. I rush to get out and, of course, he's just fine, but has started to pull out the paints and has a FIT when I ask him to wait until I am dressed and have a chance to clean off the kitchen table. OH NO. That is going to take WAY too long. I remind him he is lucky I am going to let him paint at all and will he PLEASE just sit tight until I am ready or start cleaning up the table himself. He starts, but whines the whole time that it is too hard and is taking me too long, then proceeds to have a tantrum over the tool used to hold the paint. We get that sorted out and they use way too much paint and make a huge mess and then, AS SOON as they are done, ask for food. No, I need to clean up the paint mess before we can use the table, please go play for 30 minutes. ANOTHER big tantrum. WHY DO WE HAVE TWO BEDROOMS FULL OF TOYS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH THEM???? I threaten to throw them out unless they go play or they can sit in time out for 30 minutes until I am ready to serve lunch. What is the big deal with them playing for a half an hour??? Finally, they leave to "go clean" while I am sorting out the drippy papers in the kitchen. I finally get them settled to eat and leave to sort myself out for a moment and notice a drippy water mess from the bathroom across the hall to my bedroom. They were cleaning my closet mirrors. WITH WATER. Which has now made a lovely puddle on the hardwood floors. It is 11 am.
This is a normal day. I am never going to make it until they are adults.