I should spend time with God.
I should spend fun time with my kids.
I should spend time reading with them too.
I should exercise and eat right.
I should spend time alone with my husband.
I should get out more and spend time with friends.
I should to educate myself about the world around me.
I need to make good decisions. I should probably take time and think about some of those big ones too.
I need to find time to work from home.
I need to make sure there are clean underwear and clean dishes every day.
I need to feed us every day. more than once.
I should get enough sleep.
I should save my loose change
volunteer at school
practice spelling words
donate at church
get involved in my community
bridge the gaps
pay the bills
feed the children
save the whales
support our troops
wash the sheets
stop and smell the roses
Have I run out of time yet?
No matter, I've run out of energy.
Why do I always have to go an compare myself to what other people are doing? What others say is the best thing? We're told that we need balance and not to put all our eggs in one basket, but then we're also told not to do too much or take on too many things. Believe me when I say that I DON'T. We really don't do a lot of "extras" around here... not many sports, no music classes or dance lessons, very little volunteering. I don't hit the gym, no one is in a book club or the PTO. I'm pretty sure it's about priorities, not balance, but I still can't figure it out. I am also aware that this is a season of my life. I'm at home with three young children and that's just a huge chunk of my daily focus, as it should be. So why am I left feeling like I don't have it together or I don't do enough for others or I'm somehow not managing my life the way I ought to be? Is it because I know what OTHER people, with OTHER kids and OTHER budgets and OTHER situations are managing to do? Or is no one managing it and I am just led to believe by the media and the "experts" that they are? Our world is made so small through media and internet and social and psychological knowledge. And a whole lot of good can come out of that. A WHOLE LOT. But then, it can also bring with it a whole lot of guilt and confusion over what is and should be important at any given time.... at least for me. Sometimes I long for less knowledge and understanding because it seems that it brings with it a whole lot of decisions and responsibility that I'm not always up for. There's an old Keith Green song that I grew up listening to with the lyrics "just keep doing your best, pray that it's blessed, and He'll take care of the rest."
If only I could hold on to that.