Monday Thoughts

No, no. This will never do. Not my favorite comfy, warm slippers.

AH... so much better .

Now can I just say that THIS is the ONE and ONLY thing I have to show from last week. That is not to say that I did nothing else. But it is the only thing that I did that stayed done. All three kiddos were on break from school. I think it took us until Friday just to adjust to each other. Back to the same old, same old today. But this, and a lot of other things that happened last week, have me doing a lot of self-evaluating. Probably good and necessary, but hard.

I have always had a hard time being PRESENT. I am always thinking of the NEXT thing, even as I do whatever now is. It makes me impatient on a good day and depressed on a bad one. It makes me rush through some things and avoid others. It makes me constantly see the interruptions and inconveniences because I can't get to C if I haven't done A and B first. It makes me not enjoy taking care of my home and children far too often. It makes my brain a spinning wheel of "To Do" lists that change constantly and are never done.

I don't WANT to do this. I WANT to be calm and focused and fully here. Content to only get one thing done in my week that stays done, as long as I've done those other things with my best work.

Baby Gets the Short Stick

I remember my mother telling me the story of the decline of her baby record keeping. How my oldest sister had a baby book with quite a bit filled out. My next sister? A baby book with the newborn stats and not much more. Brother? An envelope with some hair from his first haircut (kind of ironic if you know him) and some things written down. Me? A few random slips of paper with whatever seemed interesting or important at the time.

Now, I THINK I was smart enough to never think that wouldn't be me. I wasn't necessarily on top of a lot of things even with the first one, so by number three just about every "never" or "always" has gone out the window. Did I ever feed them crackers at the grocery before I paid for them? Yes. Have I given in to whining just to shut them up? Yes. Do I still have an almost 5 year old who decides somewhere in the night to come down and crowd me in bed? I am SO SORRY to say yes. Painfully sorry this morning ;-) And coming to a last first with #3, you might think I would be all over trying to make it really special for her and for me because my baby is not such a baby anymore.

Truth is, she lost her tooth over a week ago. The battery on my camera died as I was taking these pics and it has taken me this long to charge it and load the pictures on my computer. And the plastic bag? Yup. That was the glorious thing we threw under her pillow to wait for the tooth fairy. Best of all, I am totally fine with it. Bigger fish to fry with these kids. Bigger fish, indeed.